His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
