i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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