I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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