Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
