Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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