My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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