Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
