This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
