Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
