Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
