u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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