I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
