Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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