I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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