Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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