I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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