If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
