WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
