that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
