He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
