Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
