Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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