somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Boobs speak an international language.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
