curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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