somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
