Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
time to smoke my breakfast
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
