I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
