I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
