just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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