You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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