your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
