i don't like sucking hair
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
