we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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