my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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