My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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