Even the bartender felt bad for me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
