I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
