shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
