Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
