sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
