Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Randomize
