Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
