I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
