walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
