I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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