he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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