oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
