I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
