I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Someone signed my nipple.
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