Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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