Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
