So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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