dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
