Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You pole danced in your parka.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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