Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
