i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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