Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
