Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
