SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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